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Symphony in White
A personal blog: dreamlogs, life, interests, and the occasionally random etc.
Reblogged from: nevver
She asked me if my world is crumbling…
I replied ‘a little’.
Dreamlog: (2) Chinese food & Monster meccha mashup
I was in Shanghai with my coworkers. I think I was in a hostel type location with them. Dasha and I had shared a bunk bed. Chad came running in to tell us something, I can’t really remember what. We were all going to be leaving soon and were deciding on what to do today. I suddenly realized that no one went to my uncle’s noodle shop to eat yet. I realized then that Ming was in Shanghai too, I should tell him to go there. But I couldn’t remember address of the shop… I couldn’t even try to piece major landmarks nearby…
Dasha also commented on stopping by her parent’s place, apparently they were here on vacation as well. They had a pool that we could use.
They were in a pool, Kamina was teaching Simon how to battle. Breathe twice, go under, punch twice, go forward twice and repeat. Simon was having difficulty but the continued with the training. Even though it looked like a swimming pool, the surroundings were dark and seemed vast. Soon this monster appeared and began to fight against them. Kamina pushed Simon out of the way, he knew that Simon would be the one with the ability to save all of them. He battled against the spider creature, it cut off his arm. His other arm turned into a cannon at his will, it was his strongest weapon. He fired a shot, and even though it pushed the creature back it wasn’t strong enough. Then someone appeared whose ability was that their arms turned into blades. I think it was a woman, she slashed away at the creature. Even though she was able to do damage, the creature was still too strong and was able to return the blows. Kamina was too injured. He was on his death bed at this point. Simon stood there, trying to muster his courage to do something. He knew he could do nothing to save Kamina… Simon takes a move and decides to lure the creature away into this dome structure, it was the perfect size.
At this point the creature changed from a slightly larger than human sized spider to one that could easily be 4 stories tall. And there was another monster girl there with him. I think it was suppose to be the girl with blades for arms. Even though they were different races, he knew that they had one common enemy, the spider. She was struggling to fend the giant creature away and Simon tried to help. He shot these bullets form his arms in a circle pattern under the spider’s stomach. They were like grenades and they eventually exploded creating major damage to the creature. The belly shell began to fall and it’s blood and guts spilled through.
The blood looked almost like radioactive lava and flowed down on the walls and floor. There were small demons in the area, they were generally harmless so no one had ever bothered to kill them. They were intrigued by this liquid goop that flowed around them. They kind of looked like minions, but more detailed and decaying. It stuck it’s hand into the vile and though it didn’t hurt at all on contact, when he tried to remove it, it took his flesh along with it in the process. Another miniature demon came and put it’s face into the vile even though Simon tried to warm him not to. When he took his face out and tried to clean off the vile, it took his face off in the process.
The female monster from earlier was in the middle of all this mess. Simon used his powers to move the rubble that lied beneath into a road for her to get out. There was a bond between the two of them. The shell of the giant spider began to fall, it was going to crush everything underneath it. She couldn’t move… there was something about the spider’s abilities that prevented her from moving. Simon told her to run, to get out, he waited, he held out his hand. He tried to get her out, but she couldn’t. The rest of Simon’s team all screamed at him, telling him to leave the monster girl behind, he had to save himself! She wasn’t worth it. He waited till the last minute he possibly could, and she knew that this was the end for her. And the shell fell and crushed whatever lied beneath. Simon and his team came back to the dome, the shell had made a new stable floor for them to walk on. A hologram appeared before them, questioning the team what has happened and instructing them on what was to happen next. The team blamed Simon for what had just happened, but Simon wasn’t paying attention. He was too distraught by the loss of that girl. What they said had absolutely no impact on him. He saw her ghost standing in front of him. She said thank you and gave him a kiss. Tears slid down his face as he was completely enveloped in the moment and warmth.
[TTGL, Pacific Rim, Sword Art, Evangelion, etc all mashed in one]
I wonder if my lack of ability to trust and believe in people is a reflection of myself. People say that if someone asks you if you’re cheating, they’re most likely the ones cheating… so if I always question if people are lying or being truthful, does that mean I’m always lying?
Why is it so difficult for me to take what people say as face value and not think that it’s a backhanded comment?
I don’t know how I’ve come to be like this or why there’s only less than a handful of people that I can believe like this.
I’m sorry that I was never able to fully trust you in that sense, I wanted to. I really did… and I thought I could, but things just got worse.
I want to become a better person, a person that has more faith in others. I know my overall view of humanity is pessimistic, but I want to be able to believe in the people I’m around at least.
This is harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I felt more than I thought I did.
Dreamlog: recent themes
I’ve been having a lot of dreams still about breaking up or things going wrong. I can’t really remember what happens in them exactly when I wake up, but I know that’s what happened in the dreams. It’s like getting nightmares about school even after I graduated =u=;
Dreamlogs: Accumulation of a few (4)
There was a bucket of ice cream, I looked inside and it was a lot of little white balls. Kind of like the dip n dots ice cream, but larger and more jellybean shaped. I don’t remember how but I found out it was maggot cheese ice cream. I dared myself to try it, if it’s a delicacy I should know what it tasted like. So I took a spoonful and began to chew. Taste wise it wasn’t that bad, it actually just tasted like vanilla. The first bites weren’t bad, but when I tried another spoonful I began to notice the maggots. They weren’t alive, but when the ice cream melted I could feel the soft squishy meat that belonged to these creatures.
It was an omnipotent view. I was watching these two people talk in the woods. It was night time and the moon lit the trees. The man was a hunter and he was with a female companion. I don’t know precisely what they were saying, but he had to make a choice. There were two girls, and no matter which choice he made one of them would die. He wanted to save both, but how? He was commanded by another to kill one, if he disobeyed she would come and get both him and the girl. And another girl was also involved, but I can’t remember how. Once he began to think these thoughts, the witch knew what he was thinking and had to intervene.
Him and his companion decided to camp outside this mansion where one of the girls lived (it reminded me of those Japanese houses where it’s all one story but covers a large area with a court in the middle?) They set camp near the trees and fell asleep. The witch came to them in midst of their slumber. He fell out of his sleep for just a second to notice that something has happened. The witch had taken the shape of his companion. He knew what she was going to do, she was going to go into the mansion disguised as a friend and then kill the girl. When he saw the shape of his companion stand and walk towards the mansion he followed her.
The other sleeping body on the floor turned as he left and her eyes glowed white. She was the witch! She had possessed his friend to move and tricked him! By the time he had reached the moving body and found out that she was in a daze, the witch had already moved into the mansion. He hurried in and found her, but she just laughed at him. “You can’t stop me!”
I was in Bella Gelateria, but it didn’t look like it. It just seemed like another home-y restaurant, with wooden floors and seating. I was there with Gimn, Aiko, and her friend. We were standing in line, and he made a remark which irked me. I don’t really remember what he said, but I think it was a small complaint or backhanded comment about me and I didn’t appreciate it being said at that time and place. Eventually we went to sit and eat. At some point I left to go to the bathroom and when I came back he wasn’t there anymore. He left without telling anyone, which also irked me as well. Eventually he came back and apparently he went to get some water, which we had already gotten for ourselves.
[This dream felt like a confirmation that I did the right thing :I ]
Niko was dropped off at my house without my knowing. They needed someone to watch him. But I was running late for work, so I took him with me. I don’t know why but the path to work reminded me of the path to get to my preschool in China. We road on a bike and crossed a bridge. I don’t think the ride was all that bad but I was worried that he would fall or drop or something along the way, but we made it just fine. When I finally got to work (which looked more like a school setting in China/japan etc) I realized that I didn’t have any of the materials that Niko required. Abi and Madi met me at work. I wasn’t expecting them. But for whatever reason they had a diaper to change him.
babysitting Niko and abi+madi